If he were you, he would never lose interest in coloring the diagram before it was ready to be displayed on the fridge.
But he wasn’t you!
Even when he was your son.
What reasons make him lose interest in the smallest duration tasks even when they were his favorite ones?
Is it a generational issue? It might be, given our new generation has a shorter attention span (thanks to screen).
But it doesn’t mean that the impact of parenting style can be underrated here.
Even in the presence of noises of social media and hundreds of distractions from comic books to video games, to all-time-dinging cell phones, you can raise children with grit.
Yes, even in the chaotic world of today. There are certain tools that will help you in this regard including assigning chores and determining a process to deal with tantrums and failures. But these tools are just that: tools. And they will only address part of the concern.
To get a more comprehensive result affecting the whole life of your child, you need to understand that the whole parenting style should be targeted towards helping children with their focus and interest.
Value Your Independence
Grit has strong ties with intrinsic rewards. If a person feels satisfied with his task, he will more likely continue it.
And internal satisfaction comes from ownership of desired goals. So, let your child’s independence have its say.
And let them lead their lives. Educate. Communicate. Negotiate. And set realistic plans which are directed towards their success.
Always remember, you can help them explore all their options. But you cannot force them to choose one which you think is most suitable. It should be their choice.
Be an Authoritative Parent
We all know that the authoritative style of parenting (and supervision) is the only most successful style. It does not only help the child in learning new skills and attaining agreed upon goals, but also fosters parent-child bond.
When you are authoritarian you accept that your child needs your support and may suffer from difficult days. You understand the learning curve and accept their tendency to regress in face of difficulties.
You use motivation, fun and positive rewards in the picture to keep your children on track.
Understand that learning new things or perfecting some tasks may not be as fun as they appear. Children are bound to get distracted because of excess pressure of the task, distractions from the environment, or other factors.
You can only help them solve their problem if you communicate with them on a non-judgmental level and show empathy.
Show them you are their partner in their success, not a boss who wants to get things done at all cost.
Yes, you are not a boss. But you are not a mere friend also. You share the responsibility of their success and you have to put your skin in the game.
Don’t afraid to be a bad guy. You have to give productive feedback on their progress even it means indicating their flaws.
Phrase your comments politely and don’t hesitate to remind them their need to try harder when they appear to be lagging behind or forgetting their target.
There are various communication tools and engagement activities which allow you to raise children with grit. But none of these resources will bear fruit if you don’t change your approach towards parenting your kids.
There are certain qualities of parents which let them help their children in developing a success-oriented attitude.
So are you ready to take your child to skies of success? How?