How do people really succeed in potty training their children? It’s such a headache, isn’t it?
All in all, we cannot take our child’s place and move their bowel. They have to do it themselves. So how are we supposed to make them push when it is time and hold when it is not?
But once the training was over, I realized that it left behind it traces not only on the kid (he was able to foretell when he needed to go) but also on me. it evoked new energy in me. This energy came from four trainings potty training provided me.
A second equals more than ten minutes:
But, boy was I wrong!
Seven months into motherhood and I learnt that a second equals more than ten minutes plus lots of worries, fears and hard work. Allow your ten-months-old to analyze that plum one second more than it is safe and now it hides in their tiny mouth refusing to be rescued. It may take one to ten or more minutes to persuade them to throw it out and, if forced, to bear a tantrum.
Potty training the same vigilance around the clock. Your sixth sense tells you that it may be the time to offer that most-needed pot and you remain busy with your chore, and the next thing you notice is a storm coming down their pants. Now a second of busy-ness has turned into an hour of cleaning, scrubbing, washing, and talking.
Words have immense power:
In fact, the whole regime of parenting revolves around and depends on words. Use right words for your actions, and their actions, and get the right results. use wrong words and get only that behavior which you despise most.
Why do children use our words against us is not a myth. They are simple and can understand simple instruction. They are naïve, so they don’t extract meaning from different types of expressions other than verbal.
(Sometimes, they do extract meaning from non-verbal expressions, in fact. Just threaten them to take their toffee away.)
So, if you are just showing them your disappointment over the recent potty accident, you are only telling them what they are doing wrong. They will worry that they are bad because they have disappointed you. And their concerns will disappear after they have appreciated the harm they have done to you. When you are not telling them the right thing to do, their thoughts will not be directed to doing what is wrong.
Instead, a statement that reminds them to visit their pot, or tell you when they need to go, will set right path for them.
Emotions have More Power than Words
Although they cannot extract meanings from the non-verbal expressions, they can still understand that there is something wrong going on in your head when you express negative emotions. Depending on the emotion you are showing, they would feel either or both of the two cruelest emotions that can kill their future personalities: guilt and fear.
If they feel fear, you will get immediate consequences appearing in the form of a series of accidents following your expression. So this emotion is somewhat better as it allows the parents to re-think their potty-training, or other, strategy.
But if the feeling they experience is guilt, you will have to deal with an extremely self-conscious and unconfident adult in the future as your kid.
Guilt is not an emotion to kid with, dear.
The Child is Only Priority:
The decision about the time this training should start takes a lot of consideration from the parents.
Is he old enough?
Is he emotionally capable of understanding our hopes and intentions?
What about his cognitive skills? Can he understand what we talk? Does he feel it when he needs to go?
We only start potty training our children when we are sure it is the time to do it. It shouldn’t be a burden on the child, neither physically nor emotionally.
Before using any word to explain the idea of potty training, we consider the impact each word and every sound will have on the innocent minds. The reward system shows child’s interests. The urging statements indicate the personality we are trying to grow.
Even though the child is not involved in the decision-making process, he determines how, when, and what should be done to accomplish the goal of potty training.
What about you?
Have you potty-trained your child yet? If yes, how was the experience? If no, how do you plan to approve the process? How the process of potty training will grow your child, and you, emotionally?